Maria's Good Time Fun Blog-o-Rama and Petting Zoo

No visit from the Green Fairy

2008-07-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

I had my first taste of absinthe the other night. My husband and I had dinner with my sister and brother-in-law, and after dinner, my brother-in-law brought out a French absinthe set:

He explained that absinthe, as of July 1st, was now legal in the US. We all felt very bohemian and artsy-fartsy, as according to Wikipedia, "it is better known for its popularity as an alcoholic drink in late 19th- and early 20th-century France, particularly among Parisian artists and writers. Due in part to its association with bohemian culture, absinthe was opposed by social conservatives and prohibitionists. Charles Baudelaire, Paul Verlaine, Arthur Rimbaud, Vincent van Gogh, Oscar Wilde, and Aleister Crowley were all notorious "bad men" of that day who were (or were thought to be) devotees of the Green Fairy."

After tasting the drink, my opposition to the beverage is not because of its sometime illegal nature, or supposed risk of hallucinations and wild behavior, or its association with counter-culturalists and "creative types." I now abhor the stuff because it tastes like black licorice. Nasty, crappy, poor-excuse-for-a-candy black licorice in liquid form. And that, my friends, is truly criminal.

Today, after some research online, I learned that the absinthe that is legal in the US is so because it doesn't contain what makes true absinthe absinthe: wormwood. The FDA prohibits the use of wormwood in products meant for human consumption because of its toxic nature.

So no visit for us from the Green Fairy. But I still felt tres chic!

Has it been that long?!

2008-07-14T15:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been about ten months since I last posted here. I took time off to plan a wedding, get married, honeymoon, move into a new apartment with my new husband, unpack and put away and make the place cute, perform in two shows, travel, build a new website, model in a few photo shoots, start writing pieces for a one-woman show, and about a million other things that pulled me away from blog-land.

Our wedding in Hawaii was amazing and magical, and more than I could have hoped for. I never imaged I would have a "destination wedding," and looking back, I can't imagine doing anything else. We had a lovely, worshipful, romantic, simple ceremony on the beautiful grounds of our hotel, right next to the beach, with the sacred site of Black Rock in the distance. We had twelve family members and friends in attendance, and it was so nice to all be in Hawaii together to celebrate our union.

Before we chose to get married in Hawaii, I heard so many of my married friends who had bigger weddings say how little they remembered about their weddings. They said that half of the people who were at their wedding, they only knew were there because they saw them in pictures later, how they never got to eat any of the food they had paid for, and that the whole thing was one big blur. By doing what we did, we got to spend time with our guests in a relaxed setting, and I remember every single moment.

I would say it was the happiest day of my life, but each day with my new husband is better than the last. But it was definitely ONE of the happiest days of my life. And I feel so blessed because as amazing as my wedding day was, with my husband William, I know that the best is yet to come!

Welcome, Fall!

2007-09-23T18:16:00.001-07:00

We've had our version of a cold spell here in Southern California, which means it's been in the low 80's, and with it, a hint of the holiday season that is nearly upon us. This is by far my favorite time of the year, and I have taken a cue from the stores and already put out my Halloween decorations. I put them out about a week and a half ago as a matter a fact. As soon as the mercury dipped into the 70's, I had my pumpkin scented candles burning and was shopping for gourds at Ralph's! 10 for $10!!! Such a deal!

This weekend my lovely fiancee and I kicked off the beginning of fall with a trip to Solvang, CA for Danish Days. Solvang is a little town about two hours north of LA that was settled by Danish immigrants in the early 20th century, and it looks like it's right out of a Hans Christen Andersen fairy tale. Imagine if they had a Danish Pavilion at EPCOT, and you get the picture. Except this is an entire town. The movie SIDEWAYS was filmed in the area. In fact, William and I stayed in the same Days Inn with the big windmill from the movie where the guys stayed, and ate at the Hitching Post where Maya worked. Delicious steaks, and the Santa Maria Pinot was particulary good. So I was told. I know squat about wine. I just know I don't like most of it because it takes like vinegar to me and I feel like I should be pouring it on my Long John Silver's instead of drinking it. But I liked the Santa Maria Pinot. Very mild.

Anyway, the entire town is decked out for the weekend with parades, bands, artisans, Viking camp reenactments, Danish dancers in traditional garb, aebleskiver and sausage breakfasts, and all the wine and beer you can drink. We ate, drank, made merry, and took many photos. It was a wonderful way to get the holidays underway, and we can't wait to go back next year!

So I'm ready for the holidays to begin. Bring on the Halloween parties and the hayrides! The apple-picking and the hot cocoa! The Secret Santas and the sweet potato pie! It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown marathons and the Toys for Tots drives! Welcome Fall, and all!

2007-08-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

It's a blessed year for my family in the baby department. There are no less than THREE, count 'em, THREE babies entering the world this year. And here are all the handsome devils.

Meet Riley Hall, Landon Courtemanche, and as yet to have his named shared Baby Lay. That's right, all boys! Look out, ladies! These three little future heart breakers have already stolen MY heart, and I'm sure mine is the first of many.

My older sister Julie and husband Glen's son Riley seems like he's going to be really sweet, kind of serious, and introspective. Landon, my oldest sister Lisa and husband Keith's son I think is going to be very strong and athletic. And my younger brother Christopher and wife Jill's baby is, well, very photogenic and a great swimmer.

Welcome to the world, guys! I look forward to getting to know you.

Daaaaaa dum. Daaaaaaa dum. Daaaa dum. Da dum, da dum, da dum, da dum, da dum!!!

2007-08-01T15:44:00.001-07:00

In honor of the wildly popular "Shark Week," on the Discovery Channel, here are 20 reasons why sharks are such bad-ass mutha-f@#$ers (besides the fact that they can bite your head off):

20 Ways Sharks Help Humans
Provided by the Discovery Channel

1. As the oldest-living vertebrates, sharks may provide information on the origin and evolution of all vertebrate species, including humans.

2. Sharks affect shellfish-population counts, since many consume skates, rays, and other predators of scallops, crabs, lobsters, and more. When sharks decline, shellfish that many humans like to eat start to disappear, too.

3. Sharks rigged with cameras have provided important data on dangerous underwater sites, such as a Pacific Ocean nuclear-test site where sharks were deployed in 2003.
4. Sharks possess a highly developed immune system, with few species suffering from cancer and other disorders. If researchers can unlock its key processes, sharks may one day lead to preventative treatments, or even cures, for some of our most deadly diseases.

5. Shark fins and hammerhead shark noses have inspired high-tech adaptations to airline wings and jet bodies. The Langley Research Center has extensively studied sharks, along with whales and seagulls, for their potential design applications.

6. Certain sharks, such as the basking shark, are filter feeders that consume large quantities of zooplankton, such as copepods and krill. Some experts believe this helps to “clean” the water and may prevent red tide and other harmful algal blooms.
7. Shark blood contains special anticlotting compounds that scientists are studying for possible human heart-disease applications.

8. Sharks have the greatest electrical sensitivity of any creature on Earth. Since detection of magnetic fields can help with orientation and navigation, future research on shark electroreceptor organs may one day lead to better navigation systems in cars, planes, and ships.

9. Analysis of sharks, particularly the dogfish, has taught many researchers and students about fish biology.
10. Ecotourism, with sharks serving as a primary attraction, has improved local economies in many places throughout the world, such as in parts of the Philippines and Belize.

11. Sharks and humans once shared a common ancestor, so our tissues are not all that dissimilar. Optometric researchers are investigating the shark cornea, which may one day be used for human transplants.

12. In 2005, Mercedes-Benz modeled a “bionic car” after a tropical fish called the boxfish and other fish, including sharks. Its streamlined shape made the car one of the most aerodynamically efficient vehicles for its size.
13. Sharks always draw a crowd when they are safely contained in aquarium exhibits. While such displays remain controversial, they have earned millions of dollars, with some of the monies going to shark-conservation projects.

14. Many sharks are scavengers that consume dead and dying animals and plants. They help to rid the oceans of rotting carcasses and related waste materials.

15. Squalamine, a chemical extracted from dogfish, appears to kill bacterial microbes and removes potential tumor cells. This natural compound may one day be incorporated into treatments for human infections and disease.
16. Shark teeth, with their variety of different shapes, sizes, and cutting surfaces, are a marvel of nature. They may have inspired early human tools, some of which incorporated actual shark teeth, skin or both into the objects.

17. Sharks possess remarkable senses that enable many species to see in near darkness, smell from long distances, feel distant vibrations and more. Analysis of these abilities may one day give humans similar abilities through devices modeled after shark senses.

18. Recent studies indicate that sharks are highly intelligent, with advanced problem-solving skills, social complexity, and a natural sense of curiosity. Using neuronal activity-detecting devices, scientists have developed rudimentary ways of reading animal thoughts and feelings. In the future, we may better understand ourselves by learning how other intelligent creatures view us.
19. Some sharks, such as the spiny dogfish, never seem to go into a full sleep, since they can continue to swim while “sleeping.” Researchers continue to study sharks in hopes of learning more about what occurs in the brain during sleep modes, which may lead to treatments for human sleep disorders.

20. Researchers are experimenting with a new boat-surface coating based on shark scales. Due to their base shape, size, and bristles, scales help to prevent algae and other things from sticking to sharks, a quality designers hope to impart to ships.

Loosen Up My Buttons, Baby!

2007-07-30T15:04:00.000-07:00

I have a non-sexual crush on the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. She's yummy. I think she's really pretty and a really good singer and a really good dancer, and as this sentence reflects, she makes me feel like a twelve year old girl (or at least write like one). Maybe that's why I dig her. She reminds me of all those Prince chicks back in the eighties that I liked as a kid. Screw Madonna! Give me Vanity and Apollonia! Being a BIG Prince fan (my first tingling "down there," was at a slumber party viewing of Purple Rain during the infamous "reach around" love scene between Prince and Apollonia), any chick His Purple Highness let hang out with him was alright with me.

I was also probably more drawn to them because, with their dark hair and dark eyes and exotic looks, I could relate to them more. Being the only brown-eyed brunette in my family, my siblings would joke with me that I was adopted since I didn't look like any of them. I WAS the ONLY one who had brown hair and eyes like BOTH my parents, but WHATEV!

Anyway, Miss Scherzinger is HOT, and is one of the main reasons for my current obsession with the "PCDs." Granted, they all run around stage in their underwear and are really just a bunch of glorified strippers, but I don't care! They're really pretty and they sing really good and they dance really good and Nicole is my FAVORITE! Can I look through your purse?

Look at me! Look at me!

2007-07-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

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Yee haw! Gettin' hitched!

2007-07-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

Well, my lovely boyfriend is no longer my boyfriend, because now he's my fiance!!! I'm getting married! William and I went away to Santa Barbara in May 2007 for Memorial Day weekend. We were in great need of some rest, relaxation, and quality time together. Little did I know what else William had planned for the trip!

Saturday night we went out for a nice dinner at a little off-the-beaten-path Spanish restaurant. Sitting at a quiet, dimly lit table in the corner, we spent the evening enjoying a great meal and each other's company, talking about our journey together and all of our plans and dreams for the future. Marriage had been a topic of conversation many times before, and we both knew we wanted to get married, so it wasn't unusual for us to be talking about it.

At one point in the conversation, I was imagining our wedding. I closed my eyes and said, "You know, just the image of me coming down the aisle on our wedding day and looking down at the end of the aisle and seeing you standing there looking at me and waiting for me is just...," and upon opening my eyes mid-sentence, I saw that William was holding an open box with a beautiful diamond ring in it. For being completely clueless that I was about to be proposed to, I couldn't have set him up better! William said, "It's time." I burst into tears, he popped the question, I said yes, and lots of hugs and kisses ensued!

Walking up to the table at that moment, the surprised waitress saw the open ring box on the table, me wiping away tears, and the sparkler on my finger and said, "Oh, um, um, oh my gosh! Congratulations!" She made a hasty retreat from the table, leaving us alone to enjoy the moment. Soon the Maitre D' arrived at the table with a bottle of Champagne for us to enjoy a toast on our big night.

We've decided to get married in Maui in January, and have a small wedding with family and friends. For our honeymoon, we'll stay on in Maui for a few more days, then hop over to Molokai for four days.

I'm so excited, and I can't wait to be married to be married to my best friend and love of my life. I can't wait to be Mrs. William Hanford Lee, Jr.!!!

I sang with the stars!

2007-04-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

A while back, I lent my singing talents as part of a chorus on a star-studded recording of the single “Come Together Now,” co-written by Sharon Stone, Denise Rich, Mark Feist, and Damon Sharpe. The song was released after the Katrina Disaster in New Orleans, and proceeds from the sales of the single and the video of the song went to benefit victims of the disaster. The single was recorded at Capitol Records in the legendary Studio B. Celebrities participating in the collaboration included Celine Dion, Natalie Cole, and Patti LaBelle, among others. "Come Together Now," was the first major all-star collaboration for charity since "We Are The World."

The only thing is, "Come Together Now," wasn't recorded AFTER the Katrina disaster. It wasn't even recorded FOR the Katrina disaster. It was recorded quite a bit before, as a matter of fact. It was actually written and recorded for the Tsunami disaster in Thailand in December of 2004, but I guess the project wasn't finished in a timely enough fashion for the disaster to still be a "hot" enough story to garner any interest in it when it was ready for release.
But low and behold, as fate would have it, along came Katrina, and with a little re-editing, the latest and greatest disaster news story became the perfect subject for this project.

It was an honor to be a part of the project and to have my voice included among such top vocal talent. Toward the end of the video, you can catch a few glimpses of me in the studio belting out the chorus with the other session singers on the gig.

Here's the video:

Long time, no blog

2007-04-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

It's been about a month and a half since my last post. It's not that there hasn't been anything to write about. There's been plenty. It's the inspiration and motivation to comment, muse, ramble, observe, reflect, and commisurate that has been lacking. And I don't feel particularly inspired today. However, the guilt over the neglect of my non-readers has gotten the best of me, and I feel compelled to write SOMETHING, just to show I made an effort.

The update on me at the moment in a nutshell is I'm doing a show that closes in a week, and I'm about to start rehearsing for another one. I'm addicted to YOU TUBE. I have a cold sore on my lip due to lack of sleep and an inherited virus that runs in my family. I think my boyfriend is the s*#t (for anyone not familiar with that expression, it's a good thing). I have a new nephew and two more on the way (one will be a nephew, the other we don't know yet). There are two parrots I see every morning who fly around my neighborhood that I assume escaped from a pet store, zoo, or their owner, that I've named Toucan and Sam. I love the new Miss USA, and I'm sick of Sanjaya. I can't get enough Antiques Roadshow and have learned more about "patinas" than one person ever needs to. I won $100 and a key that could have started a 2007 Range Rover Sport off a radio station I listen to (my key didn't start it). I still haven't organized my pictures from my five months in Europe, and I can't believe that this time last year I was about to cross the Atlantic for said five months in Europe.

And like that life-changing, once-in-a-lifetime experience in Europe, there is something big coming, I can smell it. Can you smell it? It's there, in the air. It's coming. I don't know what. I don't know when. I don't know how. But it's coming. And I'm ready for it. Cue the song and dance number...

2007-02-21T09:15:00.000-08:00

Now that I call Southern California home, it's interesting to note all the little quirks that are specific to the Golden State, and particularly Los Angeles. Movies set in LA are so much more fun to watch now when I recognize some of the locales and understand the inside jokes (see "Clueless," or "Swingers"). In the same spirit of one of my previous posts about being from Mississippi, I'd like to share this list that was passed on to me about my adopted home state:

You know you live in California when:

You drive next to a Porsche and don't notice.

You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.

You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.

You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

In the winter you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.

You can mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and get sunburned.

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.

You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times and you don't remember at least 1 of them.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

You eat pineapple on pizza.

You think that Venice is a beach.

You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto. Best area code: "949/714”.

Nobody likes anyone from the "909/951" because it stinks there.

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

The gym is packed at 3 pm...on a workday.

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.

You know what "Sigalert", "PCH", and “The Five" mean.

You know the meaning behind the name of the 405 freeway.... because it takes 4 hours to get one way, and 5 hours to get back.

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH".

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

The Terminator is your governor.

...One Giant Leap For Mankind.

2007-02-14T10:42:00.000-08:00

In light of the recent scandal our nation's space program has endured, NASA has implemented a new, more rigorous process by which future astronaut hopefuls will be screened. Below is the newest test that NASA has devised, which will hopefully serve to restore the honor and dignity that we have come to associate with our American astronauts:

NASA Astronaut Screening Test: Revised and updated.

1. Who of the following do you most resemble?

A. John Glenn
B. Scott Glenn
C. Glen Campbell
D. Glenn Close

2. Which of the following do you enjoy watching?

A. I Dream of Jeannie
B. CSI: Orlando
C. Desperate Housewives
D. Dog the Bounty Hunter
E. Three's Company

3. Which of the following items would you not bring on a road trip?

A. Brass knuckles
B. Teddy bear
C. Nunchaku sticks
D. Throwing stars
E. IEDs

4. Which of the following statements best describes the correct relationship between astronauts?

A. More than a working relationship, but less than a romantic one
B. More than a not-romantic relationship, but less than a body-fluid-exchanging one
C. More than a purely physical relationship, but less than one where we don't give each other enough space
D. More than having hot, steaming, bare-assed, mind-blowing sex while orbiting the Earth 250 miles above, but less than doing it on the surface of the moon

5. At the end of the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, the space ship piloted by Keir Dullea has apparently landed in a lavishly decorated parlor. Which of the following scenarios best describes to you what has happened?

A. The parlor represents the decorative ideal that the apes in the first scene were striving to articulate by clubbing each other with the jawbone.
B. Director Stanley Kubrick went totally off his nut.
C. What kind of astronaut name is "Keir Dullea," anyway? These are stupid questions. I don't have to talk to you. Leave me alone.
D. I said—leave me alone.
E. Won't listen, huh? Here, have some pepper spray.

6. When you hear the words "Houston, we have a problem," what's the first thing that comes to mind?

A. Malfunction in the retro-fire OMS rockets
B. Loss of ceramic heat-shield tiles on takeoff
C. Thruster malfunction in the reaction control system
D. Shuttle commander is attempting to boil crew member's bunny rabbit

7. A space shuttle travels at approximately 15,000 mph. A BB pellet has a velocity of about 50 feet per second. If a space shuttle were launched from Houston and a BB gun were fired simultaneously, which would hit the boyfriend-thieving bitch in the Orlando airport satellite parking lot first?

8. Complete the following sentence:"Three—two—one …"

A. Ignition.
B. Ready or not, here I come!
C. Oh God, oh God, oh GOD, give it to me—now!
D. Roll down the window, Colleen.

Let me hear your body talk!

2007-02-12T12:07:00.000-08:00

My hips don't lie either, but my thighs have been known to bend the truth a bit.

So cute I wanna bite him!!! But I won't.

2007-02-07T11:08:00.000-08:00

I'd like to bid a warm welcome to my new little nephew, Mr. Landon Keith Courtemanche! Landon graced us with his presence at 6:12 pm on Friday, January 19th. He came in at a sturdy 9 lbs 2 ozs. He's just a little muffin top! Cause, you know, that's the best part!

Something in the water

2007-01-11T14:25:00.000-08:00

What is it about 2007 being a big year for babies? Or rather, people I know having babies. There are no less than six of my friends and loved ones who are expecting this year. A big congratulations goes out to the first of those friends who welcomed little Elliot McCrae Edwards (parents: Vicki and Cory Edwards) just last night. My sister Lisa is due in about a week and a half. And so it goes.

I'm not giving birth this year, but I have been looking for a new apartment and will be moving soon, and that's about as painful of a process.

Congratulations to all you expectants out there! My thought and prayers are with you.

Sweet relief

2007-01-05T15:40:00.000-08:00

Two of the things I hate most taking time out of my day to do, interestingly enough, both relate to the management of fluids. I hate stopping to pee and stopping to get gas. Both are necessary for keeping things healthy and running properly, but never the less are mild annoyances to have to stop what I'm doing to take care of. I don't know why. Taking care of both provide great relief. But I really wish I could just skip it.

I also deal with each in pretty much the same way as well. In either case, I wait until the last possible minute, until I can't go any further without potentially having an accident, and then praying that I will make it in time before it's too late. I'm not sure what, if anything, this may say about me on a subconscious level as it pertains to my approach to life. Maybe it means that I'm avoiding something, or that I'm unwilling to take responsibility for something, or that I have control issues.

It's never gotten to the point that I've actually wet my pants, but I have run out of gas on the interstate a few times. Three, actually. But now I know EXACTLY how far past the "E" the needle can go before I absolutely have to pull over and fill up. And that's gotta count for something.

More cute images of cute animals looking really cute

2006-12-19T18:06:00.000-08:00

In keeping with the theme of my previous post, I'd like to provide some more cuteness for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy here a video of a cute dog looking really cute. You can see a cute kitten doing something really cute here. And here is another cute video of another cute kitten that's really cute. Enjoy the cuteness!!!

So cute my teeth hurt

2006-12-15T16:47:00.000-08:00

Just a little something to brighten your day. Nothing turns a frown upside down like a picture of a monkey with a stuffed duck. Have a great weekend, everybody!

I FINISHED!!!

2006-12-04T16:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I did it! I wrote a 50,000+ word novel in one month, which is why this is my first post since the end of October. I am proud to announce that I answered the challenge from the Nanowrimo.org folks and I emerged victorious!!!

I am now the proud author of a little tome I entiteld "Ring Around the Rose." I say "proud," in the fact that I am incredibly proud that I set a goal like this for myself and I met it. I'm very proud THAT I wrote.

I can't say, however, that I'm particularly proud with WHAT I wrote. Yeah, it's pretty much just a big, old mess. In writing this book with the goal only being to just finish the thing by the deadline, I left behind me a wake of bad grammar, poor sentence structure, one-dimesional characters, and under-developed plot lines. I think I even changed genders on a few characters mid-paragraph without even realizing it. But, damn it, I wrote it.

As proud as I am, though, I have to celebrate my achievement without the support of Nanowrimo.org. You see, the finished book had to be submitted to the website for word count and completion validation by midnight local time, November 30th. Well, to me, midnight local time means midnight whereever the author is. Apparently, I should have clarified that before.

So there I am, writing fevereshly on the night of the 30th, and at around 9:30 pm, I've done it. I've written just over 50,000 words and have achieved my goal! This little labor of love that I have committed myself to and has consumed most of my free time for the last 30 days has finally been completed. So I log on to the Nanowrimo.org website, ready to post my novel and receive my little certificate of completion in the mail and have my name listed in the gallery of winners for all to behold my literary achievement. I go to the page where you are suppose to upload your novel, and it reads: "In November, the Word Count Update, Verification, and Validation tools will appear in this space!." In other words, turns out the deadline indeed was midnight Eastern Standard Time, and the website had already been reset for next year's NANOWRIMO challenge. Alas, I was too late. And I was heartbroken.

I am still proud, however, to have finished, whether NANOWRIMO knows about it or not. It was a huge accomplishment, and I'm very curious to sit down and read how the heck my crazy little story turned out.

The pen is mightier

2006-11-02T21:18:00.000-08:00

November is National Novel Writing Month. All across the country, thousands of authors, from first-time writers to seasoned professionals, are accepting the challenge to write a novel in one month. Beginning November 1st, the goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days, which is around 1667 words a day. I have accepted the challenge, and am furiously composing my literary masterpiece. I'm determined to finish, and am proud to report that in two days, I have already written over 4,000 words. I'm also unemployed at the moment, so I kind of have no excuse not to! I know it's going to be a rambling, incoherent mess, but the point isn't so much quality of content, but just to get it written. It's a great exercise in being disciplined in sitting down and writing everyday and meeting a set deadline. And maybe I'll have written a few little gems here and there throughout amongst my chapters. I wish I could tell you what my novel is about, but I'm not quite sure myself. I can tell you that so far, it's about a girl named Rose and her many adventures. I know. Riveting, huh?!! For more info, check out the NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) website here.

A Spooktacular Time!

2006-10-28T23:32:00.000-07:00

I just got home from a Halloween Party. I didn't have time to go out and shop for a costume or to purchase the raw materials to build my own. Normally, I do well with putting something together out of some unique pieces I already have in my closet. But at the moment, most of my stuff is in boxes and stored in my mom's garage, so I had to make do with what limited choices I currently have access to. I mulled over the idea of going as a pirate wench, since that just involves a skirt or some cullotes, a pair of boots, a hoop earring in one ear, a scarf tied around your head, then say, "Aarrrrgh," all night and you're good to go.

Then I started experimenting with a pair of fake glasses I have, and had this "brilliant" idea to go as a "sexy" librarian. I guess she works at the "sexy" library where you can check out some "sexy" books and if you don't turn them in on time, you'll be charged some "sexy" fines. So I stepped into my black stilletos, my black pencil skirt, pulled my hair back, slipped on my glasses, grabbed a stack of books and off I went to my party, thinking I'd put together a pretty cute and clever little costume!

Upon my arrival, however, it seemed that I looked like everything BUT a "sexy" librarian. What I apparently DID look like included the following: a "sexy" professor, a "sexy" teacher, Diana Prince (Wonder Woman's alter ego), and J Lo (I guess from her movie, "The Wedding Planner"). If I held my stack of books and "shushed" people, then they usually got it, but I'm afraid some folks may have just though I was rude.

Oh, well. I tried. Happy Halloween!

Thank you, Chevron Gas and Wendy Shapero

2006-10-25T16:34:00.000-07:00

People always ask me how I met my darling boyfriend, William. And they are always surprised and amused when I tell them the story. For you see, dear reader, I met this charming fella, the love of my life, and future father of my children, at a Chevron gas station in Toluca Lake, CA.

It all started one stormy Sunday afternoon in January 2005. I had just dropped off my friend, Wendy Shapero, at her house after enjoying a nice post-church lunch outing together. My car was nearly out of gas, and thankfully, there was a gas station just up the street from her place. I pulled in to the station and pulled up to the pump. It was raining really hard and the wind was blowing like crazy, and there were hardly any other cars out on the road. The gas station was deserted except for myself and the guy working inside.

I had just begun to fill up my tank, when another car pulled into the station and up to the other side of the pump where I was parked. I didn't pay much attention to the other driver, as I just wanted to fill up my car and get out of there and get home. The wind was really picking up, whipping my hair into my face. I struggled to brush it away while holding my keys in one hand and trying to pump gas with the other. I guess I was making a bit of a commotion, as I heard a voice from the other side of the pump say, "Rough weather, huh?" I looked up to see Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome, smiling at me from the other side of the pump.

Now, mind you, I wouldn't normally be open to being chatted up by some random guy at a random gas station in LA. And at the time, I wasn't looking at him as Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. I was looking at him as Mr. Guy-On-The-Other-Side-Of-The-Gas-Pump. My guard was definitely up, but he wasn't being creepy or slick, or, "Hey, come here often?" about it. He had a friendly face and a nice smile, and I didn't have any major alarms going off or anything. So we chatted about the weather for a bit, how unusual it was to have such bad rain in LA, the recent Tsunami in Thailand, that kind of thing.

The longer we spoke, the more I felt in my gut that this was a safe, good guy that I was talking to. He asked me my name, and when I told him it was Maria, he said, "No kidding! I just wrote a song a few months ago called, 'Sweet Maria!'" Now, I learned later that when he wrote the song, he didn't know anyone named Maria, and he had never written a song with a girl's name in it. He just happened to think "Maria," sounded nice.

Anyway, finding out we were both in the entertainment industry, we chatted some more about that, and by the time he asked me for my number, I felt comfortable giving it to him. Then we shook hands, and I drove away. And then he used my number. Almost two years later from that fateful day at the Chevron gas station on Riverside Drive in Toluca Lake in my friend Wendy Shapero's neighborhood, we're still going strong.

I just have to be really self-indulgent here and brag on William for a minute. He's quite the renaissance man, as he is an amazingly talented singer, songwriter, producer, composer, and all around bad-ass! You can check out the fruits of his labor and everything he's been up to by clicking here to go to his website. He's one of the hardest working people I know and I'm so proud of him. And he also happens to be a really great guy! You gotta love it when they are hella talented AND good people. Here's to you Papalee! I love you, Big Man!

She works hard for the money!

2006-10-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

I've had some crazy jobs in my life. I scooped ice cream without a hair net at a place called Spanky's Ice Cream Parlor, which is not nearly as kinky as it sounds. Get your mind out of the gutter and think, "The Little Rascals." I was a dog, a fox, a badger, a lion, a rabbit, an ostrich, and a twin for a very well-known, shall we say, "global entertainment conglomerate." Years later, I worked for that same conglomerate as an actor (no furry costume required) playing, among other things, a 1940's fictional movie star, a Girl Friday, a singing Space Cadet (get it?), a singing fashion designer, a singing butterfly, and an Indian Storyteller (no singing, just lots of jumping up on and crawling over artificial rocks while growling like a grizzly bear...also not as kinky as it sounds). I once had a job that lasted two days where for eight hours each day, I sat on a stool and cut out thousands of one inch by one inch little squares of fabric of various colors and fibers and double-stick taped them to little boxes next to the name of their corresponding color on these big posters to display all the new colors for the upcoming fall line of kids attire for the upcoming catalogue of, oddly enough, that same global entertainment conglomerate! I've sung "Achey, Breaky Heart," in a five hundred seat theatre for a crowd of ten, five of them being asleep, wearing a white beaded evening gown and a cowboy hat while trying to keep my balance, and my smile, as the stage rocked beneath my feet and the stage lights swung above my head from the movement of the cruise ship bouncing over the waves in the middle of the Baltic Sea. We've all got our stories. What are some of the craziest ways you've ever earned a paycheck?

2006-10-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Food for thought

2006-10-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

Why do I like almonds, but find anything almond flavored kinda nasty tasting? I like banana nut bread and muffins, but not bananas themselves or banana flavored anything else (candy, milkshakes, pudding). I like ketchup, salsa, sun-dried tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, marinara, pizza sauce, and tomato soup, but put a slice of fresh tomato on my hamburger, chop up tomatoes and toss them in a salad, or hand me a plate of tomato slices and mozzarella, and you will have one unhappy girl. I like raw carrots, but cook them and you've lost me. Granny Smith green apples: yum! Every other kind of apple: got no use for them. UNLESS: they're peeled, cooked, seasoned, and filling an apple pie, cobbler, or tart. Then we're in business. Guess you could call me a picky eater. People are funny about food. What are some of your quirks and quibbles when it comes to food?

Thought for the Day

2006-10-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

You know how people LOVE to send you those emails with a sweet, sappy, sentimental thought for the day, or an encouraging reminder to remember the simple things that make life worth living, or a special serenity prayer that ends with the threat of eternal damnation if you don't send it to 57 people in the next 20 seconds? Well, in honor of those thoughtful emails, I'd like to share with you a little thought for the day someone recently sent to me. And remember: if you don't forward it to 238 people in the next 5.22 seconds, God will kill your goldfish. Enjoy!

When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

When you're happy -- I'll take all of the credit for making you that way.

When you're broke -- I said I'll "PRAY" for you, not Pay for you.

When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

When you are confused -- I will use little words.

When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end.
"Why?" you may ask; because you are my friend.

Thanks, mom!

2006-10-06T23:38:00.000-07:00

My head nearly exploded AND I came very near to making passionate love to my computer screen when I saw this preview online. I'm ashamed to say I had heard absolutely NOTHING about this movie. It was my mother, of all people, who brought it to my attention. Bring on the carnage!!! I'm SO there. By the way, in case you're wondering, like me, what "300" refers to, it's the number of Spartans that were up against and defeated the massive Persian army. KICK ASS!!! Click here to see a preview.

Big Winner

2006-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Here's a bit of random trivia for you: Did you know that I hold the title of the Winningest Female in Cable Game Show History? Yep, it's true. At least, I was at one time. It was a few years ago, but I'm not aware that I've been dethroned yet. Click here to see how I earned that particular honor.

Miss Mississippi

2006-09-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

A friend from back home sent these lists to me recently. It made me giggle. I don't get home to Mississippi that often, so it was nice to receive this friendly little reminder of what makes my home state so, ummm, "special."

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN MISSISSIPPI:

1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in MISSISSIPPI.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in MISSISSIPPI plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Onced and twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11.Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MISSISSIPPI IF:

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
6. You know what a "DAWG" is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".
12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
13. You know whether another MISSISSIPIAN is from HATTIESBURG, north or south as soon as they open their mouth.
14.Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as"goin' Wal-martin"or off to "Wally World"....Mall Mart.
15.You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

Everybody was kung fu fighting!

2006-09-27T16:18:00.000-07:00

I have a weakness for hard-bodied, fast-footed, compact little Asian men who can kick your ass. I'm the rare female who loves kung fu movies. I totally get the excitement and beauty-the "violent ballet," if you will-of a good martial arts fight scene. I am a little picky, though, preferring somewhat of a plot and a sense of visual artistry along with all the ass-kicking, and even better if it's plot-driven, visually artistic ass-kicking. Or has Donnie Yen. Donnie Yen forgives a multitude of cinematic sins. I imdb'd him before writing this and read that he's married and has a kid. Ah well! It would have never worked out between us, anyway. We're the same height in flat feet, and I do like my high heels.

Chik-fil-a is OK!

2006-09-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the South. It's common knowledge that we Southerners enjoy our fried chicken. I know I do, particularly in the form of the Chick-fil-A Extra Value Meal #1 (that's the sandwich, waffle fries, and for my drink I'll have a sweet tea, thank you very much!). And if I'm feeling really randy, I may add an order of an 8 pack of nuggets with my meal, just to enjoy the chickeny goodness completely unadulterated by pickle and bun (though a little sweet & sour sauce for dippage is nice).

If you've never dined at a Chick-fil-A establishment, you are missing out. It's not just fast food. Oh no. It's a way of life. The Chick-fil-A Way. Those unacquainted with the wonders of this deep fried taste sensation out here on the west coast need only utter the phrase "Eat Mor Chikin" (spelling courtesy of the Chick-fil-A cows; see advertising and promos for details), to a transplanted Southerner, and you will see their eyes glaze over, their face will appear peaceful and serene, with a knowing, far-away look of regret and longing. Longing for the taste of breast and bun from days gone by, and regret that the closest Chick-fil-A location in the LA area is all the way out in freakin' Torrance (for similar response, see also: Krispy Kreme doughnuts red light-"Fresh, Hot, Now").

I won some money on a game show once, and when I learned it only required a $5000 minimum investment to open up a Chik-fil-A, I seriously considered it. I've never been to a Chik-fil-A that wasn't always hopping. But then I realized I'd actually need to know something about the restaurant business. Hopefully one day the City of Angels will truly feel like heaven when some smart entrepeneur gets wise to the goldmine that awaits them if they were to open up a franchise in the Valley.